Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
