Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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