Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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