Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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