In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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