i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
