I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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