all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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