Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i already hear my dad disowning me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
