Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
sex in a hospital.. check
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
