I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
