what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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