New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
