you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
