He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
