I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Panties = found
Randomize
