Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity