She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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