I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me