Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women