Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
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Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.