i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
