so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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