Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
