Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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