somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So much rum. So many feels.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
