there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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