I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
