would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize