i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Your penis caused this!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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