I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
