Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just high enough for therapy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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