Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
