I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
