if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
