So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize