I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
