I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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