I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
