WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
