Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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