how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
