we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
