I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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