That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
