I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
