Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
