Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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