ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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