Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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