Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
