God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
