If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize