Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
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So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
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I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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