Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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