At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
how drunk are you?
Several
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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