I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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