i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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