I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
